The Podcast Pedant

(Yeah, it’s been a while. But look! Here I am again! Enough said on that.)

(Further note: I’ll stick URLs in later. It’s late, and I’m too tired to do it now.)

So I just got back from the 2006 Podcast and Portable Media Expo.

I made it a priority to go this year because, frankly, all of the talk about it last year made me jealous. It sounded like I’d missed the podcasting event of the year — and in 2005, I probably did. There was no PodcasterCon, no PodCamp, and very little at Dragon*Con. This year? It wasn’t the only game in town, but I think it was very much worth the expense to go from a business perspective, and it was a hell of a lot of fun.

I went partly to get some business done, and mostly to meet people. I’d call the business part about a 60% success — I’m not going to talk about everything I’ve been involved with, but I had a few important conversations and missed a few others because everyone was busy. No big deal; that’s what e-mail and Skype are about. The biggest accomplishment was the energy behind the Podcast Guild; we got some new gears turning, and it looks like it’s finally on its way to becoming what it needs to be. ¹ More later on that.

The people, though — that was hugely successful. I met most of the people I was hoping to meet, and many more. And it bears out an observation I’ve made from other events: despite our personas online or behind the mic, in person we’re a big circle of friends. I didn’t shake a single hand that wasn’t warm and welcoming. In some cases this surprised me: as much of a smartass as I am much of the time, I expected at least a few cold shoulders or even harsh words, but there were none the entire weekend. Everyone was cool. It was a great vibe.

Was it a deep learning experience? Not to me, though I confess I’m an unfair judge. I don’t know everything, but I know quite a bit already of what was being presented. However, the few program events I sat in on were more slick, corporate-vanilla, and “on the surface” than deep examinations of the issues. I’d even include Evo’s and my own presentation in that. I actually felt better about the panels at PodcasterCon last year, where there was less speechifying and more intimacy between the moderators and the audience. That’s not to say this was a dud; there were some good messages here. I’m just not sure from my own perspective that a session pass would’ve been worth the money, if I hadn’t had a free pass already as a speaker.

The exhibit hall was much the same: a fun place, but little depth and few surprises. Podcast Ready put on a great face as the primary sponsor,² and the Podango mini-conference³ seems to have been a hit. Most of the rest of it was what you’d expect: here’s Shure and M-Audio, there’s LibSyn, over there’s PopCurrent, yonder are a few podcast producers, etc. There were only two gadgets that threw me for a loop:

• Box Populi’s “Podcast in a Box,” a Linux-based recorder that delivers true, no-kidding, automatic podcasting with zero interface. Aimed right now at the university market under the Meedu brand, you don’t even have to push a button: your tech guy either schedules a start and stop time for your lecture and it begins and ends recording (and publishes to their Web host) with no intervention, or you pop in a USB flash key which triggers the recording, and it publishes when you take it out. I have never seen a podcast process with no grunt work before. I think it’s brilliant.

• The iMorphosis “PodcastLink,” a sort of hardware-based podcatcher that will plug directly into your MP3 player (including iPods) and populate it without a computer. ⁴ This reminds me of those old $100 e-mail and Web appliances — the ones they marketed to your grandparents. Like those, it will fail, because it’s a clever solution lacking a problem. Anyone who has the knowledge and desire to listen to a podcast is going to have a computer sitting around. Under what circumstances is it worth real money to avoid plugging your MP3 player into your computer?

What mattered far more than new gizmos was just listening in for the general tone of the Expo. Leo’s keynote, about getting down to business and protecting what we do as a brand and an industry, pretty much set that tone, and I felt it throughout most of the presentations and a lot of the conversations. You had plenty about podcasting for fun, sure, but underneath it, everyone was really focused on success. There was a drive throughout the whole thing. A hunger. I cannot tell you how many times and in how many ways I heard the word “metrics” used, during the day and late into the drunken night. I can’t really criticize — I was saying the same lines as everyone else.

Is attending the Expo important? That’s a complex question. It’s fun to attend regardless of its importance. I’d say it’s moderately important to attend if you’re treating your podcast as a business; and it’s critical to attend if you intend to stake a claim in podcasting beyond your own podcast. Events like this are, in a very real way, the conversation that podcasting has with itself. The sharpest observation I had was that the conversation was entirely about the people and companies who were there. People talked about Podcast Ready. People talked about SwitchPod. People talked about Blubrry and Podcast Pickle, both of whom had successful and fun party suites.

Apple was discussed very little except in regard to the recent fracas with Podcast Ready. And I barely heard Podshow mentioned at all. Even the Podshow podcasters who attended weren’t talking about Podshow. The ridiculous Hummer limo, running guests to their anti-conference or whatever it was, only got rolled eyes. I’m pretty sure they have no idea how much it’s hurting them to detach themselves from podcasting’s conversation. They weren’t there, so they weren’t on the radar. And a company that survives on the creativity of individuals can’t afford that.

Besides, they’re missing the fun.

I didn’t miss the fun. I had lots of it. All businesses, priorities, and importances aside, I’ll be going again next year.

And I hope to see you there.

1. That “industry consortium” Leo mentioned in his keynote speech? He was talking about the Guild. I’d mentioned it to him the night before. ↩
2. I don’t just say that because I work for them. ↩
3. They called it an “unconference,” but they’re wrong by all usual definitions. ↩
4. Except it’s configured from their Web site. For which you need a computer. ↩

Hey look, kids! I made a file with reverb and cheesy sound effects!

2006 Podcast Awards Promo

If you want an uncompressed version for your podcast, you can find the AIFF file here.

Listen to it. If you agree with me, then play it in your podcast.

The reasons in this promo are just part of why Todd Cochrane’s “People’s Choice Podcast Awards” piss me off. My problem isn’t with Todd,¹ it’s with the categories that don’t really represent podcasting and the nomination/voting system that’s absolutely guaranteed to to wear down the patience of every participant. So what if it drives traffic to look at the ads? Are you celebrating advertisers or podcasts?

The concept of a “popular vote” award is inherently flawed. It’s not flawed because of technical issues; it’s flawed because merit is not decided by popularity contests. There’s a reason why everyone goes nuts over the Oscars and not the Golden Globes. There are other awards gearing up now with juried systems which look much better to me — the Podcast Peer Awards for general podcasting and the Parsec Awards for science fiction — and I wish them better luck.

I just hope no one’s getting emotionally invested in this whole awards thing. Podcasting with the intention of winning an award is even sillier than podcasting with the intention of making money.

1. If you’re reading this, Todd, I honestly do think you’re a swell guy who does a lot for podcasting. You have got to get a copyeditor before you ever say anything in public, but that’s not a mortal sin, it’s a venial sin. ↩

In eight easy steps:

1. Have a great idea for a podcast network. To pick a random example:¹ The Sci-Fi Podcast Network. Start with a major name at the head of it, and recruit some early leaders in your category. Make a cute alien mascot. Get a lot of people excited.
2. Once you’ve got a solid base of resources built up, start screwing around with them a little. Message boards popular? Move them to a third-party provider with an inscrutable URL and inferior aesthetics. Wipe the archives. No sense living in the past!
3. Keep experimenting with the stuff that works. Make every change for the worse. Repaint your site in a horrible Day-Glo green and purple that causes physical eyestrain.² Replace the cute alien mascot with…a cow. Defend every decision with “Market testing shows people love this!” Ignore the opinions of members of your network. If people complain too loudly in the forums, delete their posts.
4. Meanwhile, start to erode the brand identity of your network. People are coming to your site to find science fiction podcasts? How limiting! Start two other “networks” on other subject areas. Cross-linking them would be obvious and banal. Instead, make sure the original “Sci-Fi Podcast Network” URL points to a meta-network page, and make people hunt for a smaller link in the text to click through to the list of SF podcasts.
5. Of course, the trouble with that is that there’s still a page somewhere with a list of science fiction podcasts. There are no synergistic cross-brand relational compatibilities to leverage there! So ax that page, and simplify things to much smaller lists on your front page again.
6. Oh, and the name? Gotta go. Make a new name. Something with zazz. Something redundant. Something like… The Podcast Entertainment Network. Or PodcastPEN for short.³
7. Finally, because you’ve probably got a number of pesky science fiction podcasts still hanging around, boot them all and hide their forums, and make them resubmit to your new network under a more restrictive set of guidelines. The new terms of service will require them to promote your non-brand more regularly and consistently, and maintain a show format according to a strict formula that conforms to your “right way” of doing podcasts. Oh, and it will also contain such gems as:

   Each show host should think in terms of a minute of ads per 15 minutes of show. You will keep (to use or sell) one of the 30 second spots and the network will fill the other (with a network show ad or an ad a sponsor has purchased)… PEN offers a generous revenue sharing program (50%) for each audio ad we secure for your show. If you do not wish to participate in our advertising program, please provide your reason on our submissions form. Exceptions will be considered on a case-by-case basis.

8. Voilà! You’ve just driven away everyone who thought it might be fun to be listed in a science fiction podcast directory, but doesn’t want to be told how to podcast or how to advertise.

This might seem mean-spirited. Perhaps it is, although I didn’t start out meaning to be mean. But this really bugs me. A couple of people whom I really liked⁴ had a good, simple, effective idea and implemented it well — and then, over the course of a year, allowed their unfocused business ambition to dissolve a good community into nothingness. It’s a shame. I’m not upset that they wanted to change things. Nor that they wanted to make money. (Although a 50% ad commission is just wrong.) I’m upset because they didn’t realize what they had, and in trying to make it something else they lost something of benefit to everyone.

It’s a shame. And no, I don’t intend to just bitch about it. There are positive steps that can be taken, ways that it could be done right. The obvious response to my complaint here is, “If you think it could be done better, smartass, you try it!” And I think that’s a good answer. But that’s another post.

1. Okay, so it isn’t. You got me. ↩
2. To be fair, they did back off on the colors after some of us raised a rallying cry for listeners to check out the site and send feedback. The green and purple didn’t go away, but it retreated to the edges. ↩
3. The “P” in “PEN” stands for “Podcast.” Again. So it’s really the Podcast Podcast Entertainment Network, or PPEN. Turtles all the way down. ↩
4. And still do like, honestly, although I suspect that after this blog post they’ll never want to speak to me again. ↩